Being intelligent, being appreciative and lastly good music. Trust me, it will make your day.

I was talking to my dad over dinner about the monotony of army life and at the same time, explaining what am I really doing in camp everyday. I have difficulty explaining to him what is Intelligence in mandarin. Imagine me having to say I am a chong ming soldier.

Well, I guess my dad probably took it literally. You see, I am the luckiest bastard in the army. I am drawing a 3sg's pay with combat allowance. I do not have to do SOC, i stay out and I rarely have a chance to wear my helmet anymore and I am PES A. My dad probably thinks that I am really so chong ming to manage to slack till this state and so he just nod his head with approval everytime I try to say i am an Intelligence spec.

He would probably boast to his khakis about his eldest son having a bright future ahead, afterall his son managed to siam the bane of the army and enjoy the fruits of it.

Shit, I hope my chief clerk doesnt read this.

Anyway, today is a super boring day. I came to camp and sat on my laurels for a whole damn day. I did a few camp passes, reduced a few red-tapes and built up relationship with my boss. It took damn long to reach 5pm. While waiting for time to pass, I started to ponder introspectively through thoughts about myself. I was thinking how often I contradict myself. But after awhile, I came to a conclusion that Man will always think that the grass is greener on the other side.

Its funny how I dislike Infantry life, digging trenches, living in the jungles for a mere 4 days and yet regretted not going to Infantry when I'm in Artillery. As a matter of fact, I LOVE war movies. I can watch numerous reruns of Band of Brothers or Black Hawk Down and I will never get bored. I love military history, inspired by the valour and heroism of individual soldiers that fought the great wars. Perhaps the monotony fuels the resentment but even till today, I would still think that Infantry life has the fun thing to it.

I have never like Science since primary school, neither do I like the languages. I loathe over Literature back in Secondary school and prefers studying for my Science subjects because I think its the most important subject of all. All my life, i picked Science as my route of advancement without hesitation. But later into my JC years, I always have that feeling that the Arts stream is always better than the Science stream. I would also think that I should have taken Economics instead of Physics or I should have went Poly instead of JC. It goes on forever.

Well, I guess I dont really appreciate the things on my side. I hope it doesnt happen when it comes to marriage.

Im surprised you are still reading on. Anyway, I bought an album by a local singer, Bevlyn Khoo weeks ago. Its only available at Gramaphone and she puts up only 1000 cds for sale. Reminds me of another Olivia Ong. She has excellent diction for her mandarin songs even though some of her songs reminds me of National Day theme songs. She did a pretty good interpretation of La Vie En Rose, which is one of my favourite. Unless you hate Bossa Nova and Folk, you guys should listen to her and support local music!!

The good & The Bad.

Refresing and relaxing. My kind of down-tempo chill out. Olivia has a voice so calm, so sweet that could really de-stress you. It makes you want to go for more. Its a big contrast from those pop idols that go for sex appeal. Honestly, most of her songs are pretty boring but I listen to the lyrics and her voice. That is why I'm never bored of her. I think she pawns Lisa Ono mann.


















I bought Sheryl Crow's latest album weeks ago. I demo-ed a couple of her tracks before deciding to spend some money on it. But as I went through the whole album at home, I regretted buying it. Even though she hasnt changed her country-rock style that much, she tried to write about peace and political issues in her album. Bah.

Im going to meet up with my friends for a nice cyle down to West Coast Park. I went a couple of weeks ago and realised they have removed the fencing, so now I could see the sea. Though not as impressive as the views from the beaches down at Sentosa(it was too cluttered near the shore), but the sea breeze and tranquil is worth your time.

Its a crying shame, to have hopeless sorrow.

I dont know how to put it in words but Bic Runga penned a line that really describes everything.

"Its a crying shame, to have hopeless sorrow."

I am going back to my unit tomorrow. Back into a shithole. I am going to miss my trainee life for the past 1 month because it was purely a break from shit. Even though I have to go through 3 exercises and stay in on some nights, I would still prefer to stay at camp X. And more shit is about to fall on me because i will be the guard comd for next sunday guards. I have only little experience on being a guard comd. Hai, i think i prepare to sign 3 extras la.

There is one thing that is bothering my mind right now. But i can't just type it down here. I think the only way to solve this is to avoid bad company. pretty easy ah. But sometimes walking on the line can make life pretty boring. Morals and life or 18 and life?

Oh where, oh where can my baby be?

Many many weeks ago, shourav, stephanus and me gathered at ben's place to jam. Unfortunately, kunal and sugar cldnt join us otherwise it would be so much fun. They were jamming last kiss and I fell in love with that song since then.

Today, i heard it over the radio and have been putting it on loop at youtube.

They say the lyrics to this song is actually true.

Pearl Jam - Last Kiss.
Oh where, oh where can my baby be?
The Lord took her away from me.
She's gone to heaven, so I've got to be good,
So I can see my baby when I leave this world.

We were out on a date in my daddy's car,
we hadn't driven very far.
There in the road, straight ahead,a car was stalled, the engine was dead.
I couldn't stop, so I swerved to the right.I'll never forget, the sound that night--
the screamin tires, the bustin glass,
the painful scream that I-- heard last.

Oh where, oh where can my baby be?
The Lord took her away from me.
She's gone to heaven, so I've got to be good,
So I can see my baby when I leave this world.
When I woke up, the rain was pourin down.
There were people standin all around.
Somethin warm flowin through my eyes,
but somehow I found my baby that night.
I lifted her head, she looked at me and said,
"Hold me darlin just a little while."
I held her close, I kissed her--our last kiss.
I'd found the love that I knew I had missed.
Well now she's gone, even though I hold her tight.
I lost my love, my life-- that night.

Oh where, oh where can my baby be?
The Lord took her away from me.
She's gone to heaven, so I've got to be good,
So I can see my baby when I leave this world.

shrewd history

I was as usual searching for my favourite singers on wikipedia. This unfaltering determination for knowledge is needed to quell my daily urge to be more intelligent. But somehow, that night I ended up reading on the History of China when I only intended to read on Olivia Ong. Through the links, I spanned more than a few topics, ranging from Olivia Ong, to money, to Singapore, to some other stuffs and finally reaching History of China.

Within that 1 night, I have that impression that Chinese were actually pretty shrewd before the Qing Dynasty fell. Makes me appreciate that I was born in a modern society with plenty of morals and ethics. Try picturing a criminal being sentenced to a slow death execution in the streets of China. The criminal being fed with excess opium to keep him alive while his skin is being cut into smaller pieces for the sake of humiliation. The Chinese do get orgasmic watching this.

How about the strict discipline in the army of premodern China. Yue Fei wanted to execute his son for not executing a drill properly. Failure to comply with orders awards you with decapitation. What the fuck? Its pretty shocking to me that my ancestors have lived through such a backward era.

Ok, im going to sleep and not think about how shrewd and backward Chinese were 100 years ago. And pray hard to all the different Gods that me or eric junior or eric junior the 3rd and so on and on will not suffer the same predicament.

Happy Easter.

Back in my kindergarten days at St. Joseph's, we were given baskets of Easter Chocolate Eggs with small hot cross buns for us to relish in every Easter. Then, we were kids not older than 6. Treats like these were the best part since my parents were so strict on candies. It didnt hit home to us that Easter Sunday was the resurrection of Jesus.

It didnt matter to me anyway. I was schooled in Catholic mission schools all my life and I'm still a Buddhist, albeit not a devout one. It didnt matter much to me anyhow now, since preceding Easter, its Good Friday which somehow grants me an extra public holiday. So on this day, when Jesus was crucified many many years ago, when he shed his blood, carrying the heavy wooden cross to the site of execution, I slept through half of the day.

Good Fridays always relinquish good memories from my kindergarten days. Like the carefree and innocent times then, apart from the chocolate eggs and hot cross buns, there were times that you can't forget even though 15 years have passed. I wonder where all my friends have went. I always remember this hauntingly compatible duo who would be incharge of the school bus that brought me home. There was this super big field right infront of our class and in it were different playgrounds. I love the climbing one. It was really high to me then. Now i could even touch the top without climbing.

Things are different at my kindergarten now. Flanked by AES and CHIJ Bukit Timah, the once serene and tranquil air doesnt really exist anymore. The huge church tower still stands, but the school complex seems different. I remembered once at the back of the school, there was this ulu track that followed the statues which depicted how Jesus was crucified on Good Friday. Then, to me the statues were larger than life. Now the ulu track is replaced by the huge ass and polluted Bukit Timah Road and the statues seems to disappear along with time even though physically they are still there.

The world seems to be a much more quiet place then till cars and roads starts to pile up. Thats is why I always say old is better than new. I love oldies, i love film cameras, i love black and white films, I love the retro fashion.

But I will nvr swear off technology.

On a really different tangent, technology is something we can't say we loathe about even though at times it contradicts its purpose. For now, especially in my course, I would die for a computer. It does wonders which a human hand could not possibly have done for hours. Fortunately, they are teaching us to draw overlays on maps using computers which would make my life way much easier. More time and attention could then be given to the planning of intelligence during war.

Alright mann, im damn tired. Long week this week. Bye.

I was mesmerized.

I managed to catch Olivia Ong and Kathleen Harris on friday night. They are performing for the Mosaic Festival and best of all its free! I hate the crowd though, I cldnt take a proper photo of Olivia Ong because I cldnt get a good vantage point. And my camera skills sucks mann. Most of my photos turned out to be blurry. =(

Btw, Olivia Ong looked damn pretty in real life sia.





































































At the end of Olivia's show, everyone was shouting for her to perform one more song. She performed Fly me to the moon much to the pleasure of the audience.

Life of a patty in a burger.

Life is akin to a patty stuck between 2 slices of bread in a burger. Thats if you belong to the middle management in a hierarchy system. The taste of the burger depends on the patty. The slices of bread could be topped with savouring bits of sesame seeds and baked with a golden brown but if the patty doesnt taste as good as it seems, the burger wont taste as good as a whole.

Ive learnt that leadership and responsibility comes with increasing status of your chevrons. People look at you as a commander and to gain respect you must have a high standard of responsibility and maturity. I find it seemingly difficult to command a section of people who are older and more knowledgeable than I am. Its a tough learning process, very different from things ive learnt during my NCC days. Unfortunately, things are much worse in the middle than the top. Its like a bottleneck. From the top down, you get screwed pretty badly because from the bottom up, we are supposed to lead by example. Its not something you can negotiate about because if something goes awry, you will be the first to be blamed.

To be honest, I was sort of feeling proud and losing self respect just so because I was going to become a 3sg. It was a pretty naive thought actually. During my NCC days as a platoon sgt, I would be a fucking sadistic bastard. thinking respect is earned through means like that. But after months of interacting with people under me in the army, I realised it takes more than being physically fit to be a leader. I think it goes down the same way outside military world. I think ive learnt more on improving myself from my men than during my trainee days in a command school. This learning process wasnt as smooth as you would think. I get scolded by my boss, judged by people and be infamous for the wrong reasons.

Hmm, finally I found some time to type all these. I told my boss im taking off on Monday to rest. I need it mann. I'm going to play my guitar because its collecting dust for weeks. Also, I realised that Rihanna is so fucking hot. Heh.

bye!

Oh my god, I would love to soak up every single moment of this enriching and soulful cover by Diana Krall. I love the walking bass lines by John Clayton. I love how the bass lines work in harmony with the piano solos. Its a wonder how jazz music could work by breaking all rules of classical music. How, in this perfect harmony and phrasing of a simple beautiful piece of classic music, be so beautiful with a husky and sexy voice from Diana Krall. I love the piano solos because it sounded so fluid with the walking bass. MANN, I love this cover.



Can't wait for this year's mosaics.
Happy CNY!

Another post on something that talks about something

Tomorrow is 31st Jan of 2008. No big deal but that means 11 more months for the year to change to 2009. But on the other hand, i dont really like the idea of going nearer to my birthday because i dont want to go into the twenties. I love staying 18. 18 and life, you know?

nowadays, army just dont feel like army. I go to camp at 7am and then i go back home at 6pm. Everyday I just stay in office and settle alot of admin stuffs. I have radio, comfortable armchairs, and aircon by my side. I dont even feel like I am even defending my country. Alot of on job training during office hours which i think will benefit me after i leave the army. I dont even understand why can't I go to the civilian world and do the same stuff and benefit the economy of my country. I hate regimentation. Even though, my job is pretty alright, compared to my peers who have to stay-in, I still hate the regimentation in the army. I hate to greet people i dont even respect. i hate wearing the uniform and I hate to say yes sir yes sir all the time.

I think i lack motivation ah. No motivation, everyday life like damn meaningless. Everyday wake up, work, eat, work, eat, internet, tv, sleep. Weekends always the best because u got all ur friends around ah. I was thinking of retaking my As this year, so maybe i got some goal to achieve. I want to learn how to drive ah but i cannot afford ah.

Tml the planet will inch along the orbit around the sun. The nearest galaxy will inch towards our own galaxy. Mars will still be orbiting around the sun without any substantial signs of life form or water in it. Living things on Earth are being competitive against each other to survive, only to die when their biological time is up. Are all these routines of the universe making life and nature seems so meaningless?

A new year

If I was born 15 years earlier, I would be old enough to listen to the world's greatest bands ever. I would be saving money to buy AC/DC and KISS cassettes with those A/B sides. I could fly to USA to listen to Metallica, Skid Row, Vixen, Poison, Slaughter, Def Leppard and many others LIVE. Their music would be given abundant air time on most radios. Schools start to ban students from listening to Sex Pistols, godfather of classic punk music and girls will go crazy over Joan Jett and the Ramones. AHHH, the bloody 80s.

If I was born 25 years earlier, I will probably experience the Hendrix experience live and find a day job just to buy a Fender guitar and a Marshall Amp. I will love EAGLES to death with their Hotel California. What about the Beatles? They will probably be lullabies for me to sleep when I am still a kid. And of course, what about the Carpenters? Their Yesterday Once More and Close to You were the bubblegum pop hits of the 70s.

If I was born 35 years earlier, I could probably sway with swing jazz and dance to the beats of reggae. Nat King Cole would still be alive then and I could listen to his hits like L-O-V-E, his cover for The Girl from Ipanema, Route 66 and Mona Lisa. Frank Sinatra, Quincy Jones and Ray Charles will be playing my favourite tunes. Astrud Gilberto crooning her vocals over public radios with her One Note Samba.

Damn i tell you I was born in the wrong year.

Happy new year folks.

Dey, why u spray confetti at me, dey? Go back n spray water at your elephant la dey.

One of the many life lessons i've learnt during my 19 years of habituating this world of craziness is not to stroll down Downtown on a Christmas or New Year's Eve. Thus, you find me blogging this entry at this particular point of time.

Its very similar to the time when I went to Ling's concert at Stage@Powerhouse. The whole crowd was filled with probably Bangladeshis., except that this time the crowd was more well behaved. But it was totally dead, the crowd was dead. It made Ling's concert looked bad. On the contrary, these very same group of people filled every corners, every skid row of the streets in town during end of the year festive eves, tearing the whole fucking place down and spraying confettis at random people, pissing the hell out of ppl. It made the streets looked bad with these people.

So, I've made a rather wise and decisive choice not to roam around town tonight. Anyway, I dont really celebrate Christmas since i'm a Buddhist and find countdown to xmas really a waste of resources and a commercialized event for business to boom(saying merry xmas is a sign of respect). I have to wake up early tml to attend my late grandfather's death anniversary.

By the way, there's a tagboard on my blog now. People tell me they dont really bother about the comments link at the bottom of my post and there are also people telling me to put a tagboard here so that they can spam me when they are bored. Ok, so the tagboard is here for u to enjoy, enjoy!

Of Slackness and more slackness

Yo.
Its been quite some time since I blogged. Actually, there isnt really any thing to blog about unless you want the whole world to know about the minute details of your life. Thats like selling yourself to people, like real estate agents.

Entered the next paragraph. I sat cross legged, my eyes darting everywhere but the screen, my index finger tapping on the next key to start my first word of the next sentence. Nothing. Tap..Tap...Tap, still nothing. I picked my cup and drank some liquid from it. Tap...Tap...Tap, nothing. Then i sweared again. Oh shit, how am I going to continue my post by writing all these? Hmmmm. Is hmmmm going to help? Nah, still blank.

I was about to shit myself in my pants when I thought about the events that I'm going to tell everyone about in this post. Should I write about my graduation parade, my new unit or the time when I had a cold war with my friends or maybe about that time when my house was completely denied water from a faulty pipe made by an irresponsible government contractor?

How about emotions from people and myself? I wanted to write about the awkward feeling I had when my parents really did not come for my graduation parade. I wanted to amplify my satisfaction and belittle my envious friends on my new unit. By the way, I'm posted to 3rd Div Arty as an Int Spec where I will be staying out and will have no SOC for the rest of my NS.

Wow, thats alot. But then again, I decided that I'm not really going to write about them all. But rather, I have actually wrote about those events in a summary. Now its back to more tapping again for my next paragraph.

Goodbye? See you later? See you? Maybe. But before I really conclude this post which is really very irrelevant to the title I have given to this post, I must really make an announcement to music lovers in Singapore who truly appreciates local music to take some time off in the evening to watch Ling(I blogged about this local songbird few months ago) perform at Stage@Powerhouse near Esplanade to the tunes of various artists such as Elliot Smith, Damien Rice, Rachel Yamagata and many many more, including her own work, "Larkin Step". Its happening today at 7.30pm.

My post shalt end with the tunes of Larkin Step.




(Some cheebye went to hack her youtube account. boliao.)

yay, i got nights out today. the most boring of all the nights out because i have to go home to bring back half of my stuffs.
And, this week is also quite boring. Except for the cert presentation, photo-taking and some rehearsal for the POP, its wake up, eat and sleep kind of life.
After much thought, I think calling my parents down to watch the POP is not really necessary. Its a waste of time and I dont see any pride in passing out. Pride or rather pride in getting our ranks doesnt really exist in our course. Pride actually stands for "people rest I do extra". Worse still, we were told that we will be going to our new unit next Thursday and before that we have to come back to move everything from our old building to the new one. NA BEI!
It would be much better if it was like my graduation parade back in sispec. We were shagged like fuck after route marching like fuck and then have to stand sommore with the @#$% fieldpack still on for them to stick our ranks. For pride I will still stand straight lor but actually during that day i almost fainted, i was squatting down cos too tired sia.

my friend went siao after watching Enchanted lor. he kept singing the "happy working song" when he's doing saikang and he said it actually made him want to work.



This one is another song from the movie. Quite nice too.



ok got to go back liao. =(

Giant is Dead!

woohoo i finished my last field exercise as a trainee liao. After moving around the whole of the Northern Singapore, including one deployment ground that was so near my house and sitting inside the fucking hot, crampy and smelly command post vehicle, we were presented our beret.

I read Jesse's blog just now and he was talking about some things that made him nostalgic and filled with regrets. Basically it was part emo, part reminiscing of the past. Anyway, I just want to say no point in getting emo over the past, just move on. Not everything in life ends as happily ever after. Well, you might have missed your past madly but you could relive all these memories by meeting up with your old friends again. As for your love, I dont know what to say. For me, I've already forgotten that girl that I have so fanatically been infatuated with in school. Well, partly because she went away to some far away land to study. But then, i realise I dont want to dwell in such a sad and pathetic feeling everyday. Love supposed to be filled with warmth and happiness, not emo-ness, right?

anyway, listen to this bumblegum pop of the 70s. Its called Yesterday Once more by the carpenters.

When a human body is exhumed, the remains seemed so fragile, proving how feeble humans really are. It doesnt really matter how powerful u were or how good looking u were, you just become a heap of bones that really meant nothing but only memories that will only be close to your loved ones and friends.
So make those memories a good one. Strive towards your dream in life, love your loved ones like as if there's no tomorrow, dont be afraid to have fun in your life and so on and on.

Bah, Exercise Giant starts tomorrow. The grand finale before I graduate. Actually i am more stressed than thrilled. I'm not really sure of my stuffs cos I dont have good long term memory. My sgt major said i rank 2nd last in the whole course because I failed one of the test, arghh. I hope i still can pass out as a spec, considering i have pass my soc and ippt.

shit is going to happen tml sia.

HAHAHAHA

LOL!

Damn tired after 3 days of Khatib Chalet

I'm back with a pair of very rotten legs. Its really rotten with pus oozing out and then there are scars and wounds everywhere on my calves. Disgusting sia, i got exotic looking insect-bitten lesion all over my hands and I have not inhabit the jungle since bslc.

Zeus the Greek god has been rather busy nowadays, which in a way is good for all soldiers that are about to embark on a rundown with 11 obstacles along the way. I used to whistle one of Travis's song when im met with extreme bad luck but not for that day. Then suddenly i remembered Guns N' Roses's November Rain and I was overjoyed.

This week has been quite eventful. I went to slackmore camp, opps, its stagmont camp for a few hours of insomnia therapy. I returned home with difficulties in shutting my eyelids due to intensive shutting of the eyelids at both khatib chalet and at the therapy.

All of u students, civilian workers and fellow soldiers, i've got a good 4 days off and my pay day is in 2 days.

WooHoo!

=D

I had some major mood swings while clearing soc on friday. all the hokkien phrases just came out in a rush of anger. FUK MANNN! I cldnt clear low rope again. It sucks when you know u need just one more loop to touch the top but you just cldnt do it. It becomes more demoralizing when you see your section mates going all up and shout. argh.

i feel so ashamed to call myself a metal fan. megadeth and black sabbath came to singapore and i didnt even go! wth. I have to wait a decade for them to come again but by then they would be like eagles, old grandpas that could probably have some serious seizure while headbanging. To further degrade myself, i dont even have a single song from megadeth! OMG! They are like the bread and butter of anyone who started out listening to metal. GARGHHH!

bah. its a saturday night, or oh well sunday morning. i've decided to rot at home because i simply dont wish to go out. on this very weekend i longed for everyday in camp, i spent it all at home. before i go emo again, which i hoped it will nvr happen like in my previous posts, i bury myself in dvds and video games. Ah video games(not dota), something that i've not touch in a long time, it relinquish my inner self. Especially in the comforts of my own home, i was comfortable in screaming wildly and cursing at the screen when my character got shot by ze most invincible baddies with a 3000rds per sec mini machine gun.

sad to say, when i wake up tml, probably more than a million people would have died and another million ppl would have been born. the cycle goes on every minute and at any time you might be contributing to this cycle. SO, dont waste your time and start to do the things u might or had love to do, like playing block catching, drive a car without a license, gulp down 10 bottles of booze, visit your frail sickly former teacher and scold him/her your lifetime of beautiful cultured dialect phrases and so on and on.

WHAT WAS I THINKING? I dont know why i end my post in such a manner, i dont remember planning to end it this way.

Gazillion BAHs.

death in photos

Taken by Robert Capa, these photos captured death at its best moments. Just like the 1st photo, I think the guy didnt know what hit him and Robert Capa accidentally shot that photo at the instance he was fatally shot. I love his wartime photos, especially the ones at the Omaha Beach. I was surprised he wasnt shot or blown to bits after following the 1st wave of soldiers onto Omaha.

Watched too much documentaries with bloodshed and gore but i guess i am going to watch it and say omg thats so sad in a pitiful voice and then switch off my tv and go to sleep on my comfy bed and wake up peacefully.