This is a place where I would reflect about things that happened, vent my frustrations on the shit I received in life(literally) and erm..work my brain cells when I got nothing better to do.
Btw I'm lala, you can call me Vai Neo. I like it that way. =P
I dont see a need to say my name right here. By coming here, chances are you entered through my friendster profile or some other links. Otherwise, its hidden within posts.
P/S: You can leave comments at the end of each posts. You can do it anonymously too. =)
Just got back from the hours of sappy oldies, talented local musicians and soapy dramas from HK. All from youtube!
Proud to say i spent most of my 2 days off being a couch potato and watching videos from Youtube. And I found 53A on youtube!!!!!!! Actually I was surfing through someone's blog and found the video. I remembered waiting for them to perform when they were still doing sound check 4 hrs prior to their performance.
Hmm, i guess its not just UnXpected at Wala Wala, Monday nights should be reserved for 53A too. I am already waiting for their album since last year's mosaic.
James Morisson - You Give Me Something
New Radicals - Someday We'll Know
Pretty good huh?
Here's another unique song by a very unique pop-reggae band.
Dispatch - The General.
Friday, August 08, 2008
I am finally down with 1 exercise and there are 2 more to go. Its never fun in real life unlike how we play strategy games in lan shops.
We are the computer who runs the monitor. We might seem like nothing but they need us to run the whole thing smoothly.
And there are so many things I could actually blog about in order not to waste a portion of the Internet. But some things are better to talk about over drinks with old friends. Henceforth, I think this blog would be pretty dead every now and then because I don't believe in blogging about what I did over the weekends with my friends, especially when I dont take alot of photos and people want to look at photos instead of huge chunks of words. For me, I would'nt even bother reading them, i just look at photos. Furthermore, i often KO infront of my pc before I could even start typing anything, therefore it shows that I am actually doing work during office hours and hence felt the effects of being tired.
And I am typing this because I dont feel like sleeping and I have to work tomorrow. I dont really give a damn now. I am really like sianZZZZZ and thinking about everybody and everything and not really giving a shit about it too. I just want to ORD and get a move on or just dont give a damn about it and let live and die.
sianZZZZZZZ
Sunday, June 29, 2008
I want to go back to school. I miss school.
I miss the days when I could have school breaks lasting for a month. Being totally in a blissful state of mind, lying back at Mind's Cafe or the library at the Esplanade or anything civilian after school and doing things that you actually enjoy doing. Your detention only last until 5pm and not over the weekends. Speaking of weekends, weekends are entirely yours most of the time and you are not liable to last minute call back. You dont have regulations on headdress and the cleanliness of your shoes. You want to go to school because of that special someone you have been thinking of. You might want to have intelligent debate about trival and subjective matters with your teachers without being purged for insubordination or in severe cases, mutiny. Most teachers encouraged their students to have a more inquisitive mind without being reprimanded for questioning orders.
I really dont wish to see myself blogging about NS stuffs in my future posts but its unfortunate that it revolves around me most of the time, including some weekends, which perhaps explain my nasty mood this weekend because I refused to answer any phone calls and msges on my mobile.
Bah.
For those who are feeling really down because of life's tragedies and its misgivings, Bobby Mcferrin might be the guy to put a smile on your face.
If you dont appreciate Reggae music, then dont listen and dont insult Bobby Mcferrin.
One fine day, I was slacking in G2 Branch at Division. I was reading a book about SAF customs and traditions. To add insult to injury, I realised the term 'Sergeant' comes from the word servant, in which this particular servant will do important tasks for his master.
Further reading revealed why Lieutenant General is of a higher rank than Major General. Lieutenant means Deputy. A Lieutenant Colonel is a deputy of a Colonel, a Lieutenant General is a deputy of a full fledged General. So if a Lieutenant is a deputy of a Captain or a full fledged officer and a 2nd Lieutenant is a deputy of a deputy of a full fledged officer, then he would be a half fucked officer.
The facts in the book were proven true when I realised I was a servant doing 'very important' tasks for my masters.
"Sgt neo, come here."
One of the officers point to my rank and said something about it being 3 stripes only. Then he took an empty plate and looked at me.
Fuck mann, i was fucking dulan. I would'nt mind doing a favour for high ranking people if they have asked me nicely, instead of using rank on me. I am only a NSF. Bitches.
I was so dulan about everything in these 2 weeks at the CP, that i actually showed my displeasure. The next day, my S3 asked me whether if i was damn angry with him. I was in fact very angry at him but decided to say I wasnt.
I came to a conclusion that after 2 weeks spent in a CP filled with officers, I am serving my 2 years of liability not for my country but for people whom i dont even respect.
Sunday, June 01, 2008
I was watching House TV series some weeks ago and Dr House said something that really got me awe-struck.
You cant die with dignity. Since the day you were born, you are dying, its ugly. You can only live with dignity.
(not the exact words)
I concur totally with what Dr. House had said to his patient. But despite the fact that everyone is decomposing from the time you are born, Homo-sapiens, being the most superior and most intelligent being in the mortal world on Earth, decides to kill each other because of differences in race, language and religion.
Come on, life is already ugly. There is already differences in economy standings, Mother Nature and microorganisms that will kill you. Do we really have to further degrade the ugliness of life through genocide and war? Do individuals have to kill themselves over trival matters like being obliged to serve their nation for 2 years or over an opposite gender because of love?
Lived 9 to 5 and worked his fingers to the bone. Just barely out of school, came from the edge of town. Fought like a switchblade so no one could take him down. He had no money, oooh no good at home. He walked the streets a soldier and he fought the world alone And now it's
18 and life You got it 18 and life you know Your crime is time and it's 18 and life to go
Tequila in his heartbeat, His veins burned gasoline. It kept his motor running but it never kept him clean. They say he loved adventure, "Ricky's the wild one." He married trouble and had a courtship with a gun. Bang Bang Shoot 'em up, The party never ends. You can't think of dying when the bottle's your best friend And now it's
"Accidents will happen" they all heard Ricky say He fired his six-shot to the wind and that child blew a child away
"Why do u put people in jail for smoking weed when you are smoking weed yourself? Isnt that hyprocritical?"
"Son, do u like giving people a handjob?"
Kumar shrugs
"Hell no."
"Do u like people giving u a handjob?"
"Oh yeah!"
"Then you are hypocriticizing!!"
(exact words are not used but the meaning is there)
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA, one of the funniest part in Harold and Kumar. Definitely worth watching unless you are offended by nudity and drugs, otherwise its a must.
You know one of my friends said that exposing penis in a movie is a big turn off. I wasnt really bothered about that statement until I watched Harold and Kumar. Seriously, when the movie reaches the scene where alot of girls are bottomless, and the camera is facing the pool, get prepared to close your eyes because its a nightmarish scene.
Oh yeah, watch the 1st Harold and Kumar movie b4 watching the current one and i think it might become a trilogy because Neil Patrick Harris didnt actually die. (opps spoilers =))
After listening to so many artists, I think the album of the 1st decade of the 21st century should go to Red Hot Chilli Pepper's Stadium Arcadium. Listening to John Frusciante is akin to smoking weed and getting closer to the higher beings.
Wake and Bake baby!
Bah, I've never smoke weed before but I do not need drugs to get high. John's simplicity and the use of effects on his guitars, that fuzzy, muddy and plucky music, stirred with Anthony Kiedis's psychedelic vocals is a recipe to spiritual narcotics.
A musician does not have to be a soprano and croon like Whitney Houston or be able to sing like Mariah Carey's falsetto or run his/her fingers through countless of Arpeggios and pentatonic scales on instruments at top speed. Just listen to Frusciante, his solos are so simple yet alluring. He could even control overdriven sounds to make coherent music and phrase it melodically.
Fucking talented.
And do you know one of the inspirations John Frusciante looks up to is the legendary Jimi Hendrix? Without Hendrix, Steve Vai, Van Halen, Joe Satriani, Yngwie Malmsteen, Stevie Ray Vaughn and other legendary musicians would not have appeared in the history books and I wont be able to listen to good music.
Out of boredom in camp, I asked my buddy about his current situation with his girlfriend. He started to complain how his girlfriend put him as the least priority and so on and on, which most couples have fought or are fighting over about, hence making it so boring and cliche. So i decided to tell him the little quote in the picture. Well, he was pissed off after that. I as usual, was laughing loudly at him.
And then I got really serious and tell him. If your girlfriend makes u the least priority because she can't get over her ex beau; dont fret over her and dump her for good. Why bother wasting your time over someone who doesnt care about you. It doesnt make sense right?
After that, i proceed to laugh at him once more. Seeing him so down, I started to sing my favourite hokkien song, one little umbrella. Both of us started to sing the song, reminiscing the good old times.
sian ah, now I have to go back camp for tml's guard duty. SIAN! Pray for me mann.
Anyway, this Stand By Me is covered by a male A Cappella Group from Indiana University. Such impromptu performance as a way of saying thank you to the fast food outlet staff is a very touching thing. Awwwww..
I was talking to my dad over dinner about the monotony of army life and at the same time, explaining what am I really doing in camp everyday. I have difficulty explaining to him what is Intelligence in mandarin. Imagine me having to say I am a chong ming soldier.
Well, I guess my dad probably took it literally. You see, I am the luckiest bastard in the army. I am drawing a 3sg's pay with combat allowance. I do not have to do SOC, i stay out and I rarely have a chance to wear my helmet anymore and I am PES A. My dad probably thinks that I am really so chong ming to manage to slack till this state and so he just nod his head with approval everytime I try to say i am an Intelligence spec.
He would probably boast to his khakis about his eldest son having a bright future ahead, afterall his son managed to siam the bane of the army and enjoy the fruits of it.
Shit, I hope my chief clerk doesnt read this.
Anyway, today is a super boring day. I came to camp and sat on my laurels for a whole damn day. I did a few camp passes, reduced a few red-tapes and built up relationship with my boss. It took damn long to reach 5pm. While waiting for time to pass, I started to ponder introspectively through thoughts about myself. I was thinking how often I contradict myself. But after awhile, I came to a conclusion that Man will always think that the grass is greener on the other side.
Its funny how I dislike Infantry life, digging trenches, living in the jungles for a mere 4 days and yet regretted not going to Infantry when I'm in Artillery. As a matter of fact, I LOVE war movies. I can watch numerous reruns of Band of Brothers or Black Hawk Down and I will never get bored. I love military history, inspired by the valour and heroism of individual soldiers that fought the great wars. Perhaps the monotony fuels the resentment but even till today, I would still think that Infantry life has the fun thing to it.
I have never like Science since primary school, neither do I like the languages. I loathe over Literature back in Secondary school and prefers studying for my Science subjects because I think its the most important subject of all. All my life, i picked Science as my route of advancement without hesitation. But later into my JC years, I always have that feeling that the Arts stream is always better than the Science stream. I would also think that I should have taken Economics instead of Physics or I should have went Poly instead of JC. It goes on forever.
Well, I guess I dont really appreciate the things on my side. I hope it doesnt happen when it comes to marriage.
Im surprised you are still reading on. Anyway, I bought an album by a local singer, Bevlyn Khoo weeks ago. Its only available at Gramaphone and she puts up only 1000 cds for sale. Reminds me of another Olivia Ong. She has excellent diction for her mandarin songs even though some of her songs reminds me of National Day theme songs. She did a pretty good interpretation of La Vie En Rose, which is one of my favourite. Unless you hate Bossa Nova and Folk, you guys should listen to her and support local music!!
Refresing and relaxing. My kind of down-tempo chill out. Olivia has a voice so calm, so sweet that could really de-stress you. It makes you want to go for more. Its a big contrast from those pop idols that go for sex appeal. Honestly, most of her songs are pretty boring but I listen to the lyrics and her voice. That is why I'm never bored of her. I think she pawns Lisa Ono mann.
I bought Sheryl Crow's latest album weeks ago. I demo-ed a couple of her tracks before deciding to spend some money on it. But as I went through the whole album at home, I regretted buying it. Even though she hasnt changed her country-rock style that much, she tried to write about peace and political issues in her album. Bah.
Im going to meet up with my friends for a nice cyle down to West Coast Park. I went a couple of weeks ago and realised they have removed the fencing, so now I could see the sea. Though not as impressive as the views from the beaches down at Sentosa(it was too cluttered near the shore), but the sea breeze and tranquil is worth your time.
I dont know how to put it in words but Bic Runga penned a line that really describes everything.
"Its a crying shame, to have hopeless sorrow."
I am going back to my unit tomorrow. Back into a shithole. I am going to miss my trainee life for the past 1 month because it was purely a break from shit. Even though I have to go through 3 exercises and stay in on some nights, I would still prefer to stay at camp X. And more shit is about to fall on me because i will be the guard comd for next sunday guards. I have only little experience on being a guard comd. Hai, i think i prepare to sign 3 extras la.
There is one thing that is bothering my mind right now. But i can't just type it down here. I think the only way to solve this is to avoid bad company. pretty easy ah. But sometimes walking on the line can make life pretty boring. Morals and life or 18 and life?
Many many weeks ago, shourav, stephanus and me gathered at ben's place to jam. Unfortunately, kunal and sugar cldnt join us otherwise it would be so much fun. They were jamming last kiss and I fell in love with that song since then.
Today, i heard it over the radio and have been putting it on loop at youtube.
They say the lyrics to this song is actually true.
Pearl Jam - Last Kiss. Oh where, oh where can my baby be? The Lord took her away from me. She's gone to heaven, so I've got to be good, So I can see my baby when I leave this world.
We were out on a date in my daddy's car, we hadn't driven very far. There in the road, straight ahead,a car was stalled, the engine was dead. I couldn't stop, so I swerved to the right.I'll never forget, the sound that night-- the screamin tires, the bustin glass, the painful scream that I-- heard last.
Oh where, oh where can my baby be? The Lord took her away from me. She's gone to heaven, so I've got to be good, So I can see my baby when I leave this world. When I woke up, the rain was pourin down. There were people standin all around. Somethin warm flowin through my eyes, but somehow I found my baby that night. I lifted her head, she looked at me and said, "Hold me darlin just a little while." I held her close, I kissed her--our last kiss. I'd found the love that I knew I had missed. Well now she's gone, even though I hold her tight. I lost my love, my life-- that night.
Oh where, oh where can my baby be? The Lord took her away from me. She's gone to heaven, so I've got to be good, So I can see my baby when I leave this world.
I was as usual searching for my favourite singers on wikipedia. This unfaltering determination for knowledge is needed to quell my daily urge to be more intelligent. But somehow, that night I ended up reading on the History of China when I only intended to read on Olivia Ong. Through the links, I spanned more than a few topics, ranging from Olivia Ong, to money, to Singapore, to some other stuffs and finally reaching History of China.
Within that 1 night, I have that impression that Chinese were actually pretty shrewd before the Qing Dynasty fell. Makes me appreciate that I was born in a modern society with plenty of morals and ethics. Try picturing a criminal being sentenced to a slow death execution in the streets of China. The criminal being fed with excess opium to keep him alive while his skin is being cut into smaller pieces for the sake of humiliation. The Chinese do get orgasmic watching this.
How about the strict discipline in the army of premodern China. Yue Fei wanted to execute his son for not executing a drill properly. Failure to comply with orders awards you with decapitation. What the fuck? Its pretty shocking to me that my ancestors have lived through such a backward era.
Ok, im going to sleep and not think about how shrewd and backward Chinese were 100 years ago. And pray hard to all the different Gods that me or eric junior or eric junior the 3rd and so on and on will not suffer the same predicament.
Back in my kindergarten days at St. Joseph's, we were given baskets of Easter Chocolate Eggs with small hot cross buns for us to relish in every Easter. Then, we were kids not older than 6. Treats like these were the best part since my parents were so strict on candies. It didnt hit home to us that Easter Sunday was the resurrection of Jesus.
It didnt matter to me anyway. I was schooled in Catholic mission schools all my life and I'm still a Buddhist, albeit not a devout one. It didnt matter much to me anyhow now, since preceding Easter, its Good Friday which somehow grants me an extra public holiday. So on this day, when Jesus was crucified many many years ago, when he shed his blood, carrying the heavy wooden cross to the site of execution, I slept through half of the day.
Good Fridays always relinquish good memories from my kindergarten days. Like the carefree and innocent times then, apart from the chocolate eggs and hot cross buns, there were times that you can't forget even though 15 years have passed. I wonder where all my friends have went. I always remember this hauntingly compatible duo who would be incharge of the school bus that brought me home. There was this super big field right infront of our class and in it were different playgrounds. I love the climbing one. It was really high to me then. Now i could even touch the top without climbing.
Things are different at my kindergarten now. Flanked by AES and CHIJ Bukit Timah, the once serene and tranquil air doesnt really exist anymore. The huge church tower still stands, but the school complex seems different. I remembered once at the back of the school, there was this ulu track that followed the statues which depicted how Jesus was crucified on Good Friday. Then, to me the statues were larger than life. Now the ulu track is replaced by the huge ass and polluted Bukit Timah Road and the statues seems to disappear along with time even though physically they are still there.
The world seems to be a much more quiet place then till cars and roads starts to pile up. Thats is why I always say old is better than new. I love oldies, i love film cameras, i love black and white films, I love the retro fashion.
But I will nvr swear off technology.
On a really different tangent, technology is something we can't say we loathe about even though at times it contradicts its purpose. For now, especially in my course, I would die for a computer. It does wonders which a human hand could not possibly have done for hours. Fortunately, they are teaching us to draw overlays on maps using computers which would make my life way much easier. More time and attention could then be given to the planning of intelligence during war.
Alright mann, im damn tired. Long week this week. Bye.
I managed to catch Olivia Ong and Kathleen Harris on friday night. They are performing for the Mosaic Festival and best of all its free! I hate the crowd though, I cldnt take a proper photo of Olivia Ong because I cldnt get a good vantage point. And my camera skills sucks mann. Most of my photos turned out to be blurry. =(
Btw, Olivia Ong looked damn pretty in real life sia.
At the end of Olivia's show, everyone was shouting for her to perform one more song. She performed Fly me to the moon much to the pleasure of the audience.
Life is akin to a patty stuck between 2 slices of bread in a burger. Thats if you belong to the middle management in a hierarchy system. The taste of the burger depends on the patty. The slices of bread could be topped with savouring bits of sesame seeds and baked with a golden brown but if the patty doesnt taste as good as it seems, the burger wont taste as good as a whole.
Ive learnt that leadership and responsibility comes with increasing status of your chevrons. People look at you as a commander and to gain respect you must have a high standard of responsibility and maturity. I find it seemingly difficult to command a section of people who are older and more knowledgeable than I am. Its a tough learning process, very different from things ive learnt during my NCC days. Unfortunately, things are much worse in the middle than the top. Its like a bottleneck. From the top down, you get screwed pretty badly because from the bottom up, we are supposed to lead by example. Its not something you can negotiate about because if something goes awry, you will be the first to be blamed.
To be honest, I was sort of feeling proud and losing self respect just so because I was going to become a 3sg. It was a pretty naive thought actually. During my NCC days as a platoon sgt, I would be a fucking sadistic bastard. thinking respect is earned through means like that. But after months of interacting with people under me in the army, I realised it takes more than being physically fit to be a leader. I think it goes down the same way outside military world. I think ive learnt more on improving myself from my men than during my trainee days in a command school. This learning process wasnt as smooth as you would think. I get scolded by my boss, judged by people and be infamous for the wrong reasons.
Hmm, finally I found some time to type all these. I told my boss im taking off on Monday to rest. I need it mann. I'm going to play my guitar because its collecting dust for weeks. Also, I realised that Rihanna is so fucking hot. Heh.
bye!
Friday, February 08, 2008
Oh my god, I would love to soak up every single moment of this enriching and soulful cover by Diana Krall. I love the walking bass lines by John Clayton. I love how the bass lines work in harmony with the piano solos. Its a wonder how jazz music could work by breaking all rules of classical music. How, in this perfect harmony and phrasing of a simple beautiful piece of classic music, be so beautiful with a husky and sexy voice from Diana Krall. I love the piano solos because it sounded so fluid with the walking bass. MANN, I love this cover.
Tomorrow is 31st Jan of 2008. No big deal but that means 11 more months for the year to change to 2009. But on the other hand, i dont really like the idea of going nearer to my birthday because i dont want to go into the twenties. I love staying 18. 18 and life, you know?
nowadays, army just dont feel like army. I go to camp at 7am and then i go back home at 6pm. Everyday I just stay in office and settle alot of admin stuffs. I have radio, comfortable armchairs, and aircon by my side. I dont even feel like I am even defending my country. Alot of on job training during office hours which i think will benefit me after i leave the army. I dont even understand why can't I go to the civilian world and do the same stuff and benefit the economy of my country. I hate regimentation. Even though, my job is pretty alright, compared to my peers who have to stay-in, I still hate the regimentation in the army. I hate to greet people i dont even respect. i hate wearing the uniform and I hate to say yes sir yes sir all the time.
I think i lack motivation ah. No motivation, everyday life like damn meaningless. Everyday wake up, work, eat, work, eat, internet, tv, sleep. Weekends always the best because u got all ur friends around ah. I was thinking of retaking my As this year, so maybe i got some goal to achieve. I want to learn how to drive ah but i cannot afford ah.
Tml the planet will inch along the orbit around the sun. The nearest galaxy will inch towards our own galaxy. Mars will still be orbiting around the sun without any substantial signs of life form or water in it. Living things on Earth are being competitive against each other to survive, only to die when their biological time is up. Are all these routines of the universe making life and nature seems so meaningless?
If I was born 15 years earlier, I would be old enough to listen to the world's greatest bands ever. I would be saving money to buy AC/DC and KISS cassettes with those A/B sides. I could fly to USA to listen to Metallica, Skid Row, Vixen, Poison, Slaughter, Def Leppard and many others LIVE. Their music would be given abundant air time on most radios. Schools start to ban students from listening to Sex Pistols, godfather of classic punk music and girls will go crazy over Joan Jett and the Ramones. AHHH, the bloody 80s.
If I was born 25 years earlier, I will probably experience the Hendrix experience live and find a day job just to buy a Fender guitar and a Marshall Amp. I will love EAGLES to death with their Hotel California. What about the Beatles? They will probably be lullabies for me to sleep when I am still a kid. And of course, what about the Carpenters? Their Yesterday Once More and Close to You were the bubblegum pop hits of the 70s.
If I was born 35 years earlier, I could probably sway with swing jazz and dance to the beats of reggae. Nat King Cole would still be alive then and I could listen to his hits like L-O-V-E, his cover for The Girl from Ipanema, Route 66 and Mona Lisa. Frank Sinatra, Quincy Jones and Ray Charles will be playing my favourite tunes. Astrud Gilberto crooning her vocals over public radios with her One Note Samba.
